"Into your hands O Lord"

       Once again we are in the midst of the most solemn week of the year which precedes Easter Sunday. Every year the Church gives us this wonderful time of Lent for repentance, preparation, and renewal for receiving anew the marvelous gift of our salvation. I think one of the most profound moments is the celebration of the Mass of the Lord's Supper and the time spent in prayer with Our Lord afterward. Before entering into a reflection on my personal thoughts of this time, I would like to turn to the part of the Gospel read on Palm Sunday, which began this Holy Week, recounting Christ's time in the Garden of Gethsemane with his Apostles.

He took with him Peter, James, and John, and began to be troubled and distressed. Then he said to them, "My soul is sorrowful even to death. Remain here and keep watch." He advanced a little and fell to the ground and prayed that if it were possible the hour might pass by him; he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible to you. Take this cup away from me, but not what I will but what you will." When he returned he found them asleep. He said to Peter, "Simon, are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Withdrawing again, he prayed, saying the same thing. Then he returned once more and found them asleep, for they could not keep their eyes open and did not know what to answer him. He returned a third time and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? It is enough. The hour has come. Behold, the Son of Man is to be handed over to sinners. Get up, let us go. See, my betrayer is at hand." -The Gospel of Mark - Passion of the Christ
       The Mass of the Lord's supper is so touching for me because it is commemorating the first mass, the Last Supper that Jesus Christ shared with his apostles. At this liturgy we are invited to relive that first mass, to relive Jesus' complete offering of himself to us. At this liturgy we are privileged to be present with Jesus at the cross, to be with Jesus just as the fist Apostles were. Every single mass actually represents the sacrifice of Calvary and is celebrated in memory of the Last Supper but I think the liturgy of Holy Thursday is especially poignant because through the readings, washing of the feet, procession of the Blessed Sacrament, and reposition of the Blessed Sacrament one is vividly placed with Christ so many years ago. I suppose it is hard to describe, but it seems to me this time of the liturgical year more than any other, that I can see, feel, hear, and touch, I can almost physically experience that specific Passover week in a way not possible at any other time in the year.
      This was especially clear to me after the mass of the Lord's Supper. In most parishes, the Blessed Sacrament is reposed outside of the nave of the Church on an altar surrounded by all manner of plants and flowers. The Church itself is bare of any decoration and at the end of the mass the Eucharist is processed to this place of repose, to this Garden, just like he left the Upper Room and went with his Apostles to the Garden of Gethsemane. He asks his apostles to remain with him and pray yet he returns to find them asleep. Over the past ten years or so, I have always found great peace in spending that hour in prayer with Our Lord, in the 'garden' made for him. Our Lord endured such great suffering and pain, there in that Garden that any of my own suffering and pain seems as naught and yet, because of Christ's great love, every little suffering of ours matters so greatly to him. So much so, that he is willing to die so that we may not endure eternal suffering that we deserve for our sins. In fact, it is our sins that lead him to his death and yet by his death he forgives us and makes us whole again. Sitting with Christ in that garden allows me to experience his love in such a special way... it helped me to realize how unworthy we truly are of his love and his grace and nothing we can do merits the smallest drop of his mercy... and yet it is offered to us freely, with complete vulnerability. What a God is He! What a loving Savior! Let us hearken to his words. Let us be still and know that he is God. Let us bask in his love and allow that love to shape and form us, to guide us and cleanse us. Let us imitate him in taking up our cross to follow him for there, in the cross is joy, in the cross is peace, and in the cross is found heaven. The hour is indeed at hand, let us be on our way!